NYC-ISH POEM

the holland tunnel
a long shiny paper towel tube
(if paper towel tubes
were like the insides of abalone)
streaked by a graffiti
of red headlights
i tried to cut my bangs
with cuticle scissors
in front of the mirror
at hotel 17
which is never a good idea
but i had a sudden
and terrible desire
for them to be somehow
more kathleen hanna-esque
i bought hello kitty ugly dolls
and the infinite wait
at forbidden planet, plus
tons of bendis and ellis
it’s sad to wake up at home
alone in a hungover fog
of jetlag and ativan and pokemon
i can hear the cats busily licking
condensation from the shower curtain
in the next room, hello?

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MILK / WHISKERS

Nanami the Kitten: [nuzzling Nobu the cat’s belly] Got milk?

Nobu the Cat: Dude! WTF?!

Nanami the Kitten: [persistently] Got milk???

Nobu the Cat: [resignedly flopping on his side ] Whatever.

* * *

Heartichoke to Nanami the Kitten: Hey, where did all your whiskers go? Why don’t you have any whiskers? Nobu! Did you chew off all the kitten’s whiskers?

Nobu the Cat: [crickets]

Heartichoke to Nobu the Cat: Don’t you make the ajapa face at me, mister.

Nobu the Cat: [ crickets]

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IN WHICH I AWAKE TO A BIZARRO TAZO TEA-BAGGING INCIDENT PERPETRATED BY THE CATS

What I Wish I Was Doing this Afternoon:

1. Writing, writing, writing

2. Reading Murakami

3. Confessing all my secrets to the river, and secretly trysting with the sky

4. Sipping absinthe in the bathtub while listening to Thelonious Monk humming in the bright gilded spaces underneath the keys

5. Transgressing

What I Wish I Wasn’t Doing this Afternoon:

1. Preparing an important, but frankly-sort-of-completely-fucking-boring document

2. Grading and commenting, and grading and commenting some more

3. Procrastinating grading and commenting, and grading and commenting some more

4. Self-flagellating in completely tedious/predictable/not-even-vaguely scintillant way re: procrastination of grading and commenting, and grading and commenting some more

5. Resisting transgressing

* * *

Recent Linky-Lou Who’s:

Interview with Superstition Review

Poems in Fall 2008 Issue of diode

Poems in coconut 14

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CELL-EH PHONE KITTEHS

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A STORY ABOUT TAMPOPO

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FELINE AND INTERNET (FELINTERNET) WITHDRAWAL COMMENCES

Today I will drive across Nebraska. All of Nebraska. All of big, square, hallucination-inducingly endless Nebraska with all of its corn. Nebraska has a scary amount of corn. If all goes well I’ll be in Laramie by tonight. I’ll try and update when I can get to a Wi Fi source, but plan to do some Moblogging in the interim.

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CLEARING THE FOG

Loose mist of fog tangled like bits of wool in bare tree branches, climbing up my balcony like a lovesick intruder, breathing on my windowpanes. Morning bathroom after a hot shower. The fog now bitten to nothing by the icy quick sting and staticky swarm of buzzing snow.

* * *
Yuki the Cat leaves a marvelous present of chipmunks in my shoes.

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ANTONYM OF THE FALLING DOWN SICKNESS

In a somewhat upsetting turn of events, I was recently stricken with what appeared to be either (1) food poisoning, or (2) a virulent strain of the stomach flu. Things at Artichoke’s House of Wayward Cats & Co. were bearing a distinct resemblance to cattle call auditions for Linda Blair’s role in The Exorcist. Only not so pea soup-ish. More, well . . . never mind.

I’m still feeling pasty and diminished, although much less in dire need of an exorcism at this juncture, so there’s that.

In other news, I recently purchased a nice chair I was very excited about, which has already now officially become a very nice chair for my cats to sit in.

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SORT OF LIKE A KLIMT PAINTING . . . EXCEPT WITH CATS

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EVIDENTIARY BLOGGING

Here is the hole the cats gnawed in my shower curtain.

* * *

Here is the appropriately prophylacticized new MacBook. (I wish I could have afforded a MacBook Air! Perhaps the next time there is a CatMacBook Debacle? Although please let there not be a next time?)

* * *

Here are pictures of the offending beastlets.

Tampopo Stuff-On-My-Catting Nobu

Grrrls

Dangle

Behold! My splotchy paws are cute!

Our Machiavellian Machinations to import a large and compelling laptop box filled with crackly paper to lounge about in by killing off the old laptop through Death by Coffee has been successful! Mwa ha ha ha!

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