Archive for August, 2008
JM: [Bursting into kitchen, where I’ve just sat down to my morning coffee.] Okay! So you have fifteen minutes!
JM: You have fifteen minutes to get ready!
AH: Get ready for what?
JM: We going to garage sale! You have to hurry up!
AH: Um . . . I’m not going to be ready to go anywhere in fifteen minutes.
JM: You slow poke! Okay! You don’t get to go! We leave you here by yourself!
JM: How many minutes you need?
AH: Forty-five. I need coffee.
JM: Forty-five? Hello, forty-five!
JM: You crazy! Okay! I going to set kitchen timer for forty-five minutes! When it go ching? You better pay attention! If you not ready, we going to go without you, and you going to get left behind!
AH: [Under breath.] What? And miss out on the Hoardy McHoardersons’ field trip to the local garage sales?
JM: What you mumbling?
JM: Don’t talk back to your mother! And hurry up! Timer chooka-chooka-ing!
JM: Don’t leave your bag in cart!
AH: What? I’m not going anywhere!
JM: No! Somebody going to snitch you purse! You such stupid not pay attention!
AH: I’m standing right here.
JM: No! Don’t be stupid! Somebody snitch! [Grabs shoulder strap to my messenger bag and wraps it around my forearm multiple times like a tourniquet.] There! You ave to keep wrap around arm so no snitch!!
At the Farmer’s Market:
JM: What’s that beeping sound again? Sound like peep-u!
AH: That’s my cell phone.
JM: Who calling you now?
AH: Nobody’s calling me. I have a text message.
JM: Whaaa? Sex-u message?
AH: Text message.
JM: Sex-u message? Who keep sending you sex-u message?
AH: Lots of people are sending me sex-u messages. I’m very popular.
JM: They must be nuts! Must be stalker!
AH: Pretty much.
JM: Oh, look! Watermelon!
AH: They’re having a watermelon demonstration.
JM: Hey! Let’s play trick on your father. Let’s get a yellow watermelon and we pretend it’s a red watermelon and we don’t tell him. He going to be so shock when cut it!!! Hee!
AH: Hee! Okay. Yeah, let’s do that.