WORST. BLOGGER. EVER.
Really. I am. The lamest and most maladroit of all bloggers. Ever. Unlike classier bloggers, I can’t even seem to post up a “Temporarily On Hiatus” note when I go on hiatus. No. It’s even worse than you might imagine. Not only can I not post up a “Temporarily On Hiatus” note when I go on hiatus, I exist in a profound state of Hiatus Denial, in which I vigorously and adamantly keep telling myself that I am definitely not on hiatus, and that I’m definitely going to blog the next day. So not only is there Hiatus Denial, but there is also Blogging Procrastination at issue here! Sigh.
Where have I been? I’ve been Out Of It . . . Out Of It, for me, feels like a zone . . . a land unto itself. I wish that I had been somewhere more captivating, and could regale you all with travelogues and risque misadventures. (I do, however, still have pictures from San Francisco to post!) Mostly, though, I’ve been completely overwhelmed with work at school. I’m currently sitting on eighteen M.A. thesis, Ph.D. dissertation and undergraduate honors’ thesis committees — eleven of which I’m chairing, and seven of which came up for spring graduation this semester. Add to that academic advising for fall. Add to that keeping up with the class prep and grading for my normal course load. Add to that endless niggling bits of administrivia. Add to that a particularly grotesque bout of flu and concomitant Lung Fungus. Add to that being ass high in the slush pile for the literary journal I help edit. Add to that manuscript delivery and marketing/publicity background information which needed to go to my new publisher ASAP. Then go on to imagine what happens when one runs out of Wellbutrin, only to discover the fucking prescription’s expired, and being so overwhelmed and Out Of It that one keeps forgetting to make a doctor’s appointment to rectify the situation, or one doesn’t have time when one does happen to remember, and this goes on for over an entire month, so that one is all of a sudden shocked to find oneself in the goddamn freaking Bell Jar, and not only that, the OCD stuff is getting kind of funky. (For example (arms extended a la zombie): Must. Stay. Up. All. Night. To. Put. Together. 1000. Piece. Puzzle. Can’t. Stop. Or: Buy. More. Moonstones. On. eBay. Can’t. Stop. And that’s just the stuff I feel even remotely willing to disclose.)
Plus, there’s this thing that I’d really like to get for which I am currently a finalist, but I don’t want to say what it is because I don’t want to jinx it, but I really, really want it and am even now thinking that perhaps saying this much might inadvertently be a bit jinxy in and of itself, but the upshot is that I’ve been waiting for about two months now to find out if I’m going to get this thing that I desperately want, and the time is drawing near for the final decisions to be made, so there’s all this awful waiting, and a strange period of psychological limbo in the interim. (Now that I’ve even mentioned it though, however obliquely, I’ve got to shout POCK-MARKED GIRL BABY! to minimize any potential jinxage. Long story. Don’t ask.)
Hee. Really, though, I’ve finally sorted out the Wellbutrin debacle (truly . . . I have), plus I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel in terms of finishing out the academic year. I slept for twelve hours straight two days in a row this weekend. I did a cathartic and major round of housecleaning. I have moonstones. Many, many moonstones. Which is not a bad thing at all. And while the literary submissions slush pile is still ass high, I’ve decided that I’ll get to it when I get to it, and anyone who doesn’t like it can bite me!
So . . . hello again out there to the blogosphere! I was in Temporary Hiatus Denial. And now I’m back. (With moonstones. Many, many moonstones.)