1.
Recipe for SoDakian Martini = Miller Lite + tomato juice + olives. (Do not shake and do not stir. Just swill at will.)
2.
“They Don’t Make Them Like They Used to Any More”:
Gentleman Sitting Catty-Corner: His wife (gesturing to the fellow sitting next to him) had fifteen children! My wife had seven children! I bet neither one of you end up having anything close to that amount of children!
AH: WTF?
Lu: WTF!
3.
“I Had Sort of Planned on a Low-Key Evening — That Is, Until Shots Were Sent Over from the Neighboring Table”:
Lu: OMG! It’s only 6:30, and we’re already doing shots!
AH: OMG! I know! Well . . . at least it’s not a straight shot of bourbon!
Lu: Ha! You know what? I don’t believe Thor Spam (name changed to protect the innocent) can’t remember anything from Cool Breeze’s party last week.
AH: You don’t buy it?
Lu: No. I think he’s being a man-boy.
AH: Hey! We should coin a new term for unacknowledged dipsomania, then! We’ll call it being ThorSpammed!
Lu: Like, OMG! I was so ThorSpammed last night! I can’t remember a thing!
AH: Exactly. And then we can mock him on FaceBook by writing updates along the lines of: “OMG! I was so ThorSpammed last night! I can’t remember a thing!” Would that be mean? Are we Mean Girls?
Lu: Yeah. Kind of. Hee.
AH: Hee.
4.
Time-lapsed rain clouds keep on cruising by like long dark cars with tinted windows, and it remains miraculously cool and sunny and blue. A turkey vulture parabolas the Vermillion water tower, visible behind the worn brick fence. BBQ pinks on the grill and around the corner, there’s the promise of deep-fried dough as the street festival sets up. A law professor dances the polka with his daughter.
5.
Happiness sizzles deep in my pocket like an electric tingle of loose change.
6.
The Public Domain Tunes Band plays a version of The Drunken Hiccups — learned from Knut Jensen, two-fingered fiddler from Centerville. The hiccups are pizzicati, or maybe it’s that the pizzicati are hiccups, pinging out from the midst of all of the rapid-fire intricate fingerwork being executed by The Fabulous Omar . . . and it’s a beautiful evening and fall is coming on, and what could be more fabulous than this?
Ah. Here it is, those notes you’ve been taking. This is what I’ve been waiting for.
Obatch, Roripaff — Did you consider these to be billable hours?
I want to sip Dakotinis and get the skinny on being Thor Spammed!
Thor Thpammed?
Lu: Do my notes jive with your notes?
Superbigmuch: I ask you. Is happiness billable???? Is billability thorspammable????
I realize Dakotatinis are perfectly acceptable write-offs.
Superbigmuch regrets the error.
Your notes jive with mine. Though…I might have spent a bit more time on the turkey vultures. You know me…
Well, I know that you are obsessively fixated on the turkey vultures, but is confusing. I don’t know if referencing them too much is upsetting for you? Or if you feel validated by obsessive referencing? Lu’s got a lot of rules, you know!!